Every Stumbled Step
by papillon-chaotique
Summary: Post-finale. “This is who we are, babe. There’s a reason for everything..." Chase & Cameron discuss their unorthodox history together.


SPOILERS: Everything, ever, all the way to "Both Sides Now." If you haven't seen the S5 finale and do not want to be spoiled, I'd run away right now.

NOTES: Chase and Cameron have always been the definition of "accidentally in love" to me, and I think it's important to always remember how they started and how far they've come since then. I imagine it's always in the backs of their minds, too, and this is a story of them acknowledging it all very openly. Hopefully it's fitting.

**------------------------------------**

Thousands of miles from the chaotic bustle and constant drain of a hospital in Princeton, New Jersey, two of its prized physicians laze carelessly under the shade of palm trees, the gentle sway of the hammock nestled privately behind their guest house providing the perfect escape for two newlyweds who've spent nearly a week forgetting the world inhabits anyone other than themselves and their love.

Chase lies flat on his back, arms wound around the waist of a beautiful blonde who committed her heart – and her life – to him merely five days earlier. At times it feels as though the ceremony was a lifetime ago already, but in moments such as this – eyes closed, the silence of nature surrounding them – his heart swells again as if she had walked down that aisle just seconds before.

Her face resting softly against his chest, Cameron's eyes remain contentedly closed as her left hand draws light circles across the fabric of his t-shirt, rays of sun breaking through between the trees and causing a magnificent glint to reflect off the diamond and platinum that now permanently resides upon her ring finger. She sighs lightly, Chase tilting his face a little to blindly place a kiss upon her head, left hand releasing her waist and reaching up – his own platinum band catching the same sunbeams in the process – to gently comb through her unkempt, golden locks.

"Do you—" she suddenly starts, breaking through the peaceful sounds of birdsong and crashing waves against the distant shore. "Do you have any regrets? About us?"

Chase feels his heart skip a beat in momentary panic, the newness of their marriage still unable to bury every last lingering insecurity about her love for him, and he's certain she felt his body tense beneath her as she moves to entwine her fingers with his right hand and snuggle reassuringly closer beneath his chin.

"I just mean," she continues quietly, both of them remaining motionless, eyes still closed against the world, "I keep thinking about everything. Everything we've been through together in the past six years, and I – I don't like myself in a lot of those memories."

"The drug-induced booty call _was_ one of you more uncharacteristic moments." Chase chuckles playfully in response, but instantly realizes that he's misread the seriousness of her confession as she releases his hand and rolls away, Chase's left arm still trapped beneath her body as she resituates flat on her back beside him.

Pushing himself up on his elbows, Chase turns onto his side and hovers over her, now-opened eyes focused worriedly on the sight of Cameron's lip pulled tightly between her teeth as her emerald orbs – suddenly tormented instead of satisfied – stare past him into the vastness of the blue sky above.

"Hey, I'm sorry," he starts. "I didn't mean to—"

But Cameron doesn't let him finish, eyes already welling with tears. "I used you, Chase. Over and over again. Without even thinking how it could affect you. Doesn't that bother you? I was _horrible_ to you. How can you just—just ignore all of that?"

Chase sighs heavily and gazes down upon her, the hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Because," he whispers softly, reaching down to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, "you're here now. If getting here meant going through all the rest of it first, then I'm okay with that."

Cameron bites down on her lip even harder, willing herself not to cry amidst the beauty of their honeymoon and the power of the love in Chase's eyes. "But you don't wish things had been different? Easier?"

Shaking his head, Chase suddenly notices that Cameron is wringing her hands together in a nervous gesture he's only seen on rare occasions before now. Reaching out, he stills their movements with his own touch and meets her eyes again with total confidence.

"This is who we are, babe. There's a reason for everything, Ally, and if – if you hadn't known I was into you all those years, you may not have called me over that night. Without that night, maybe you never would have picked me for a good shag buddy. And if we hadn't had those months together – if I hadn't told you how I felt and been met with your repeated rejection," he pauses and smiles, reassuring her that he doesn't hold it against her, "then there wouldn't have been…"

He breaks off and shrugs slightly, words hanging unfinished in the air around them, until Cameron closes her eyes again and completes his thoughts. "Then there wouldn't have been Tuesdays. There wouldn't have been… us."

"Well," Chase says, smiling lovingly at her when she opens her eyes to him again. "Maybe there would have been, eventually, but we can't know that for sure. And it still wouldn't have been _this_ us. I happen to like us, personally."

Cameron laughs softly at this, letting go of her own hands to grip his that sits upon them, then swallows hard in the back of her throat. "I'm just sorry. I need you to know that, okay? I need you to know how much—how much I love you now."

"I know," he promises her softly. "I know."

Her eyes are filled with tears again, not yet overflowing but giving the normally-radiant green irises a glossy sheen of pure honesty and hope that he remembers staring into just weeks earlier as she waited openly for him to propose. Chase notices her body visibly relax a bit at his response, but she continues nonetheless. "I just hate that I ever hurt you. That I made you doubt this," she says, hand motioning back and forth in the air between them, "so many times. After everything I put you through…"

"Allison," Chase whispers, brow furrowed in seriousness as he pulls her left hand toward him and begins to toy with her rings. "You're my _wife_. Do you even know how incredible that is to me?" He pauses just long enough to lean down and kiss away a tear that she could no longer hold back, then takes a deep breath and continues. "I wouldn't change any of it. If that's what it took for us to find our way, then I'm grateful. I'd gladly do it all over again – even the worst times – if it means I get to spend the rest of my life with you."

Cameron simply stares at him for what seems like hours to them both, lost in each other's gaze and the promise of forever (and forgiveness) in his words. A few more tears slowly crawl down the sides of her face, but as soon as Chase moves to wipe them away she's kissing him, hand suddenly locked behind his head and holding him to her tightly. Their tongues dance in harmony for several seconds, exchanging powerful emotions that language will be forever incapable of properly expressing, until finally Chase pulls away, laughing lightly at the surprise of it all and cocking a questioning eyebrow in her direction.

"You're my husband," Cameron shrugs, a coy smile playing on her lips. "You're not the only one who thinks that's pretty incredible."

"Oh yeah?" Chase answers happily, lying back into the hammock as they switch positions and Cameron moves to loom above him now instead.

"Yeah," she nods, cupping his face in her hands and quickly kissing him again. "Thank you for never giving up on me. I really do love you, Chase. I love you _so_ much."

"You sure about that? I may need some more tangible evidence, actually" he replies, eyes shining with obvious mischief, and Cameron grins seductively at his game.

"Pretty sure, yeah. But if you need proof," she tells him, voice growing low in her throat as she rolls out of the hammock and stands, bending down to untie his board shorts and whisper in his ear, "I guess you'll just have to catch me first."

As she begins to slowly meander back toward their hideaway among the palms, untying the straps of her bikini top in the process, she hears the hammock finally shift behind her. Cameron squeals in anticipatory delight, making a pathetic attempt to escape as she hears Chase's footsteps growing closer from behind.

"You should have run, babe!" he announces triumphantly, gripping her around the waist and tossing her over his shoulder, Cameron laughing breathlessly as her new husband races them both toward the destination of their desires.


End file.
